La Vida Loca!

I have great plans for this week, a clean living week looms large!  Last week just seems like a blur, I couldn’t tell you what I did, but I seemed to have something on constantly.  Although I don’t have a sausage to show for it!

My blessed tick list is nearly all ticked off for now though, so this week I have the very best of intentions to exercise every day, as this darn ‘middle-age-spread’ simply doesn’t want to shift.  It really is infuriating that I have to do so much activity just to maintain the status quo, never mind actually lose any belly fat!  My friend reckons we get this extra layer of blubber for a reason…  maybe extra insulation to keep our aging bodies warm?  If this is the case Mother Nature is playing a very cruel prank on womankind!

I have been letting myself sink into self-pity lately.  It is not healthy for body or soul.   I need more positive energy to flow through my life.  I need to accept that, for now, my main job is as a SAHM.  Any other projects will just have to be put on hold until both kids are at secondary and I am no longer required on the school run, or home in the holidays.  The whole point of this stage in my life was to support my children and my husband for them to achieve their ultimate goals.

I change my mind every day on what I might do, given the choice.  Study again, get a conventional office job again, work in a school again…  The list goes on.  The fact is that I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up, and probably never will.  I envy my son, as he has wanted to be a programmer since the age of 4.  I can’t see him changing this goal now.  It is very clear cut for him, he is adamant this is the career he wants to pursue.

My daughter however, a more creative soul, is a bit more vague on her future plans.  She has chosen all sorts of different careers from teacher to artist to baker…  She has plenty of time to decide, I will support her regardless, as I have always floated along really.  I never once said “When I grow up I want to be a Business Analyst”, I would have been a pretty dull individual if I had.  It was just the career I ended up in, and it was fine, until I had my kids.  It is so hard, you only get one life, you have to use it well, enjoy every moment with the family and friends in your life who you love the most!  (Which reminds me I must really go see my Dad…)

The way I see it, although this may sound morbid… Imagine your tombstone, what will it say?  What will it say about your life.  You can bet your bottom dollar it will mention your place within your family “mother, wife, daughter, sister, grandmother…” It may have a beautiful poem or quote to describe your personality or your attitude towards life.  It is very unlikely it will mention your CV…  What is important to you?  What do you want people to remember you for?  Your gentle spirit? Or your report writing?  See my point?

This does not mean your career is irrelevant, far from it, as of course it is part of you, it is part of your life that makes you, you.  It is important for your self-worth and esteem.  Of course it is.  Life is for living, just make sure you live it the way that you want to, not the way convention says you should.

Right, well now I have exhausted my morality chip and need to get back to my clean living, I have even left the vino off the groceries this week… See how long that lasts!

“Livin’ La Vida Loca” baby!

Target: Enjoy every moment


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