Son’s Return!

My Clean living smugness mantra has kind of took a nose dive this week.  I did try the new exercise class ‘body conditioning’ last week and I actually quite enjoyed it.  For those of you out there encroaching on middle age, such as myself, it reminded me of the ‘green goddess’ antics of the 80’s.  Lots of running around like an idiot waving your arms in the air, press-ups (which killed me) and jumping jacks.  My plan was to return this week, but unfortunately that has not materialized.

 

The week began with me missing my class on Monday.  I was awake from 2.30 am as I had to get my son to school for 4.30 am for his France trip.  I then returned home and took my daughter on the normal school run so by the time I got home, I was basically fit for nothing!

Tuesday I did manage to swim, and Wednesday I did my normal legs, bums and tums class.  I then had the crazy idea to try the yoga class straight after!  I’m glad I did though, I found it pretty difficult, (especially the balancing – my tree definitely needs some work!) but I managed to stretch in ways I’ve never stretched before and felt very sanctimonious about going.  Thursday was my well deserved day off and by this time I was missing my boy desperately.  I thought I’d be able to handle it, but 5 days is a long time to keep opening and closing blinds in an empty bedroom without seeing his cheeky grin!  My daughter however does not agree, she said she’d be quite happy if he stayed in France forever!  I explained to her that at 10 years old he could not do that anyway, to which she looked mighty disappointed.

It honestly feels like a piece of my heart is missing and I want it back!  He is back sometime this evening, goodness knows when though.  With the bank holiday traffic we’ll probably be fetching him at midnight!

Anyway I had planned to go to my class this morning and follow it up with some ‘body balance’ as balancing is certainly not my strong point.  Unfortunately I awoke at midnight and despite putting a wet flannel on my back and face I was just too hot to sleep.  This hot weather is all well and good, but at least abroad there’s air conditioning!  So anyway I decided at 3 am to venture bleary eyed downstairs to watch a bit of TV to help me get back to sleep.  After 2 hours of lovely shopping channels I did manage to drift off and went back to bed about 5.15 am.  However when I awoke at 6.55 am to say I was not feeling rested is an understatement!  Suffice to say I decided to give classes a miss as it is likely I would either faint during delightful jumping jacks, or collapse while trying to balance!

Of course next week is half term holidays, so no classes for me!  I have great intentions of doing lots of lovely active adventures with my munchkins so I will hopefully get some kind of exercise.  As I checked on the scales and I’ve actually put on weight this week, I am not a happy bunny!  Hey ho!  Might be down to the fact I did put wine back on the groceries this week..

Never mind, after the hols I’ll be back to fighting fit, focused and determined to bring out the green goddess in me!

This has been the longest week of my life, without my boy at home.  I know it’s worth it as he will have had a great independent adventure, but still, I’ll sleep better knowing he’s back where he belongs…

Have a great half term holiday peeps!

Target:  Get my boy back!

Tonight – Woohoo!!!!!

Suns Out!!!

Quick everyone!!!  BBQ’s out!! Shirts off!! It’s summer!!!!!

Well, sort of.  Us Brits go absolutely bonkers when the sun comes out as we know it can often be so fleeting….  Our BBQ came out for the 1st time on Sunday.  Now, contrary to popular opinion my husband doesn’t seem to have any yearning primal instinct to cook things over fire like most men?  He is quite happy for me to slave away and have an ‘Oven-Q’ which is what his mum used to do, and it was all perfectly fine thank you very much!  I however, prefer to just be slaving away in the kitchen making salads, aperitifs, drinks etc.  Leaving my dearest hubby to cook away the meat on the BBQ – Like he’s supposed to!

And I was able to do a jig for joy on Sunday because we actually achieved it!  We managed to have a proper BBQ just like other ‘normal’ families do.   My hubby’s sister gave us a brand new BBQ still in it’s box a few years ago.  However on closer inspection there seemed to be a part missing.  My hubby decided he would ‘forge’ the part required… well hence why I danced a jig as I have been waiting chuffing years for this BBQ to work.  It now does and we all had a jolly time eating at the table outside just like the Asda advert.  However my daughter was less than impressed.  “These burgers aren’t like America Burgers Mummy… And this chicken tastes funny!” (that would be the lovely sweet chilli sauce they were marinated in)  My son didn’t complain at all, although he did only eat half of what was on his plate as he was full!  (Well in fairness my husband did tell me I’d made enough for the whole street in my excitement)

Anyway we’ve had one now, and might even have another one soon, hopefully for my son’s birthday, although knowing my luck we’ll be chanting in Rhianna spirit “Under my Umbrella” rather than “The Sun has got his hat on!”

Yesterday was a lovely Spa day for my buddy and I.  I know – Another one!! – I hear you cry!!  But the only reason is that my husband had bid on the prize at a charity auction, and the said Hotel and Country Club are only up the road so we popped off there in heady excitement for our pamper fest!

However, I have come to the conclusion that we had set our expectations too high.  A Health Club Spa experience it was not.  When we arrived we were plonked down on a table with a form to fill in, this took us less than five minutes.  However we were sat there for over 20 minutes wasting our lovely day away until the lady came back to show us around.  This only took 2 mins as all she did was show us the relaxation room and the door to the changing room.  After this things improved, we both had a lovely massage, and decided to go and relax around the pool area… However, part of the pool was cordoned off the the whole day for PUDDLEDUCKS!  Lovely.  Don’t get me wrong I think it’s a lovely idea for mummies to get together with their babies in the water, but unfortunately all the screaming and crying from the changing rooms kind of put a damper on the ambiance of the spa!  Anyway, then we had lunch which was okay.  A light lunch had been included in the package which was fine, but unfortunately the drinks were not included.  My buddy offered to pay for the drinks as I had invited her along.  We had 2 wines and 2 coffees.  THAT IS ALL!  However we had not realized the SUPER-DUPER-INFLATED-PRICES of said drinks.  My poor buddy nearly dropped her robe when they told her the price!

Anyway, once I’d picked her up off the floor we headed along to our lovely Pilates class which I had been looking forward to ALL DAY!  When we got there, we were informed by another guest that the instructor was not in today… Well, you can imagine.  Unfortunately when we had booked this class earlier in the day, the lad on the desk had not flipping told us that – because the service is rubbish!!!

So on that note, we spent the rest of our day around the pool, where thankfully the delightful puddleducks had gone home.  At least I got some lengths in so I don’t feel guilty!

Suffice to say, we did have a lovely girlie day, but I doubt we will be visiting said establishment again in a hurry!

Maybe a life of leisure just wasn’t meant to be…

Target:  Enjoy it while it lasts!

Done.

Feeling Smug!

So far so Good!  I have managed to have a clean-ish living life so far this week, keeping up with the old keep fit classes, eating well and even staying off the vino!

I have also signed up for a new exercise class tomorrow called ‘Body Attack!’   I know…. Part of me is dreading it, but the rest of me is hoping I will absolutely love the excruciating pain (and lots of sweating too no doubt) and make it a regular feature.  So watch this space!

My daughter has been questioning my ‘obsession’ with exercise this week.

“Why are you wearing that stuff again mummy?” referring to my trainers, work out gear etc. which I feel like I pretty much live in now..

“Because I’m off to my exercise class darling.”  She looks thoughtful for a while and then replies. “But you’re not over weight Mummy, so why do it?”  I love my daughter!

“I know… but it is to keep my heart fit and healthy sweetheart”

“Yeah, but Daddy doesn’t do exercise, so why must you?”

“Daddy would if he had the time babes.”

“He should walk or bike to work then.”  This is all well and good, but as my husband works a 50 minute drive away, it would take him most of the day to walk to work.

“Maybe Daddy could go for a walk at lunchtime instead?”  Daddy had entered the room at this point and looked at me eyebrows raised.  Poor thing.

All this healthy discussion is good though.  I am pleased that I can be a good role model for my daughter with regards to keeping healthy, but at the same time I don’t want her to be hung up on food, exercise, body image etc. etc. as so many young girls are these days.

“I’m only 9 mummy, so I don’t need to do it do I?”

“Absolutely not, you get enough exercise and activity naturally, running around all the time!”  is my considered reply…

All you can do is guide your kids on the right path.  I cannot remember ever even considering dieting or exercise or anything until my late teens.  At that age I was fortunate enough to be able to eat pretty much anything and dance it off at the weekend!  Ah those were the days…

In spite of being busy with all this healthy smug living I managed to sort out our airport parking for our hols this week, even though it’s still miles away…

I compared many, many hotels with parking included and in the end simply went for a nice big, franchisee, modern hotel very close to the airport with a stress free bus to catch to the airport which ran at regular intervals.  My husband booked a charming hotel last time we flew, and to be frank, although it was a nice, old, character filled place.  The family room we were in was in the rafters and I did not sleep one bit as it was stifling!  The rest of my family seemed to rest just fine… But not me.  I struggle to sleep in hotel rooms as it is, always have.  Even when it was a regular part of my job I never rested the same when away from my lovely bed at home.  Anyway, this time I wanted a room which was temperature controlled in a nice modern building.  When I emailed the confirmation through to my hubby to print (as he still hasn’t got round to fixing our printer…) he sent a very loud email back –

HOW MUCH!!!!!!!!

Honestly, he does make a fuss.  He should know by now, I am far more interested in spending the night before our big trip in a lovely room and consuming a scrummy breakfast, than saving a few extra quid!  Life is just too flipping short!!   I am spending all this dosh on a Disney holiday as an investment in memories, which are priceless in my opinion.  Daddy will thank me once we get to the lovely (if only a teensy bit over-priced) hotel, you know it makes sense!

Right, best get off, I’m joining my daughter at the school for a LIVES CPR training session today – get me!!  Ready to Save Lives too!

Target: Smug Clean Living Guru in the making!

Getting there!

La Vida Loca!

I have great plans for this week, a clean living week looms large!  Last week just seems like a blur, I couldn’t tell you what I did, but I seemed to have something on constantly.  Although I don’t have a sausage to show for it!

My blessed tick list is nearly all ticked off for now though, so this week I have the very best of intentions to exercise every day, as this darn ‘middle-age-spread’ simply doesn’t want to shift.  It really is infuriating that I have to do so much activity just to maintain the status quo, never mind actually lose any belly fat!  My friend reckons we get this extra layer of blubber for a reason…  maybe extra insulation to keep our aging bodies warm?  If this is the case Mother Nature is playing a very cruel prank on womankind!

I have been letting myself sink into self-pity lately.  It is not healthy for body or soul.   I need more positive energy to flow through my life.  I need to accept that, for now, my main job is as a SAHM.  Any other projects will just have to be put on hold until both kids are at secondary and I am no longer required on the school run, or home in the holidays.  The whole point of this stage in my life was to support my children and my husband for them to achieve their ultimate goals.

I change my mind every day on what I might do, given the choice.  Study again, get a conventional office job again, work in a school again…  The list goes on.  The fact is that I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up, and probably never will.  I envy my son, as he has wanted to be a programmer since the age of 4.  I can’t see him changing this goal now.  It is very clear cut for him, he is adamant this is the career he wants to pursue.

My daughter however, a more creative soul, is a bit more vague on her future plans.  She has chosen all sorts of different careers from teacher to artist to baker…  She has plenty of time to decide, I will support her regardless, as I have always floated along really.  I never once said “When I grow up I want to be a Business Analyst”, I would have been a pretty dull individual if I had.  It was just the career I ended up in, and it was fine, until I had my kids.  It is so hard, you only get one life, you have to use it well, enjoy every moment with the family and friends in your life who you love the most!  (Which reminds me I must really go see my Dad…)

The way I see it, although this may sound morbid… Imagine your tombstone, what will it say?  What will it say about your life.  You can bet your bottom dollar it will mention your place within your family “mother, wife, daughter, sister, grandmother…” It may have a beautiful poem or quote to describe your personality or your attitude towards life.  It is very unlikely it will mention your CV…  What is important to you?  What do you want people to remember you for?  Your gentle spirit? Or your report writing?  See my point?

This does not mean your career is irrelevant, far from it, as of course it is part of you, it is part of your life that makes you, you.  It is important for your self-worth and esteem.  Of course it is.  Life is for living, just make sure you live it the way that you want to, not the way convention says you should.

Right, well now I have exhausted my morality chip and need to get back to my clean living, I have even left the vino off the groceries this week… See how long that lasts!

“Livin’ La Vida Loca” baby!

Target: Enjoy every moment

Always.

Thank my lucky stars!

Ever since I was a youngster, I have always needed something new to keep me interested.  I get bored very easily…  I am sure that had I not had children in my thirties I would have embarked on a change of career of some kind just to keep me challenged and satisfied.  I am starting to feel like that again.  It has been 9 months since I last had a full time job, I knew I would get to this stage of ‘make or break’ at some point, just not this quick.

My main purpose in life is to support my family, but to do that I have to retain my sanity.  Up until recently I was able to do that by starting my blog and writing my first novel.  Now that the dust has settled on all that, I need to motivate myself anew to continue writing as an outlet to calm my state of mind.

I really don’t want to give in and get a lil’ part time job just for the sake of it, because if I do, although I will be earning, my dreams of becoming a writer will be on the back burner again.  Also, it will mean yet again sorting out child care for my own children, which is not what I’ve been striving for.  Even though they are getting older I still don’t want to miss anything!

A good example was the other morning walking to school.  My son suddenly declares “Mummy, mummy, wow look at this!” I turned around not knowing what to expect… “This bird, it’s just eaten a worm!” He is nearly 11 years old and apparently he tells me he has never seen a bird do that before up close!  It is so wonderful to me that he is still spellbound by the magic of nature and it hasn’t been totally lost with all his gaming obsessions.  It also reminds me that he is still ultimately a child, and will be for some years yet.  Just having the time with them in the morning means so much… not like when I was in a constant rush and panic to get to work and didn’t pay much attention to anything else…

I have also come to the realization that with my daughter only having a few years left at primary school, this really is a time to cherish.  You could argue that at any age, but this is the last years of innocence, and I want my daughter to have my full attention!

It was refreshing yesterday to discuss with my children what colour they would like for their magic bands at Disney.  I had paid the balance off (skint-a-saurus!) and saw it as a great excuse to start talking about the holiday… despite the fact it’s months away!  It put everyone in a good mood and was a real tonic.  I am afraid I am a Disney addict.  Just giving myself the ‘Mrs Incredible’ logo on my Disney profile makes me smile.  I love to be lost in the Disney bubble for a couple of weeks, acting like the big kid I don’t often get the chance to be!  My Grandparents took me for the first time at the age of eight, shortly after my mum passed, for both their sakes and mine.. and I have been hooked ever since…

It sounds corny, but it really is where happiness lives, and I get the same feel good factor now that I did at a young age.  My son is old enough now to go on all the big rides and my daughter, although still obsessed with ‘It’s a Small World’ and ‘Peter Pan’ rides, is slowly coming around to taking a few more risks.  It means we can all stick together as a family, rather than splitting up to go onto different rides.  Although my son is still trying to get me on the “Tower of Terror” which I had vowed never to go on again!!  My husband won’t budge either though so my money’s on him talking me round…

So, what to do…  Well thank my lucky stars that’s what!  I remember some of my work colleagues telling me to ‘just enjoy it’ and not stress about feeling guilty.  However I think I’m learning to be at peace with the ‘guilt’ thing..  It’s the boredom thing that is still nagging away at me!  So much so I even started looking into Open University courses last week, much to my husband’s despair!

Hey ho!  I just need to find a way to keep motivated, as when I’m writing I’m fine.  It’s when I’m not that’s the problem.  I know, I’ve got a great idea!!  I just stop doing household chores, and get on the flipping lap top!!  (Good excuse to avoid the ironing pile which is just getting bigger and Bigger and BIGGER!!!)

“It’s a Small World after all… It’s a Small World after all… IT’S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL!!”  Sing it with me!!!

My kids – “Oh god, she’s off again…”

Target:  Long Live the Mouse! (oh, and Mrs Incredible – Daddy loves her boots!)

Done.